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Terry Cowgill

The View From Connecticut’s Northwest Corner

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Wedge Issues

July 16th, 2008 · 5 Comments · Oddball

wedgie.jpgSitting here at the Town Grove watching the world go by and had the following thought: I don’t make a habit of gawking at people at the beach, but why do females wear such impractical bathing suits?

Some walk around flaunting their bodies; others would really rather be wearing something else. But they all have one thing in common. Every dozen steps or so, they have to pull their swim suits out of their butts, lest they saunter around in a permanent and humiliating state of wedginess.

Women of America, there has got to be a better way for you to dress for the beach, show off your curves (if that’s what you want to do) and not have to tug at your bottoms like you’re shaking off a college prank. Any ideas?

P.S. A woman sitting across from me said she thinks it’s because men are the ones who design female swim suits. I think she’s on to something.

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5 responses so far ↓

  • 1 jake // Jul 17, 2008 at 2:43 am

    “A woman sitting across from me said she thinks it’s because men are the ones who design female swim suits. I think she’s on to something.”

    Jeez, and do the men buy the suits, too?

    (I used to have Jantzen as a client. All of the designers were women. Also, one of my best friends has run the “intimates” division of three major apparel companies. I’ve never seen a male designer in any of her offices, nor at any of her shows… which are good of fun, BTW.)

    If some women didn’t like walking around mostly naked, I’m sure they wouldn’t buy thong suits and frequent topless beaches. Besides, who’s complaining? Clearly women like to be watched as much as men like watching them.

  • 2 Terry // Jul 17, 2008 at 8:01 am

    Jake,

    I don’t know if the majority of swim suit designers are women but I’m not just talking about skimpy bikinis and thongs. Even the more modest swim team suits seem to have the wedgie effect.

    To be fair, I don’t think the woman sitting across from me was trying to suggest that men are designing the suits for their own viewing pleasure but that perhaps they do not take comfort and practicality into account as a woman would.

  • 3 jake // Jul 17, 2008 at 10:57 am

    My guess is that they cut the bottoms high on the hip to make legs appear longer. Check out some of those 1960’s beach movies. The suits back then wore lower on the hip and look positively dowdy to the contemporary eye.

  • 4 jake // Jul 17, 2008 at 11:06 am

    PS - That said, I do like those contemporary surfing suits that are cut lower, originally made popular in the great flick Blue Crush.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0300532/

    (And yes, I do have an awesome collection of surfer movies!)

  • 5 cynthia // Jul 18, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    My theory: they’re not tugging out a wedgie, they’re using their hands to distract people from looking at their bottoms. It’s the bum equivalent of crossing your arms over your chest when you have on a low-cut or tight shirt.

    Very few women, even relatively slender teens, are comfortable with how their bums look. When they are constantly pulling at their suit, I think what they’re really doing is trying to distract from what their perceive as their physical imperfections.

    When I swim laps at Hotchkiss, I rarely see women pulling at their wedgies, because they know everyone else is swimming, and not sitting on a chaise with nothing to do but watch people walk by.

    As for why we all wear bikinis? They’re obviously more efficient for swimming and more efficient for tanning. And we’re social creatures; everyone else wears swim suits, we do too. When I’m at the beach, though (to my husband’s consternation) I generally keep on my shorts and a button-down shirt.

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