The Future: Narcissists Anonymous?
February 27, 2007 on 12:32 pm | In Education, Main, National |This study is consistent with what I have long believed. The so-called self-esteem movement has been a disaster — not only for education but for society.
When children’s nursery songs proclaim “I am special, I am special. Look at me” and students are taught that to feel good about themselves is more important than high achievement, then you are headed for big trouble.
One need look no further than school awards ceremonies, most of which have turned into orgies of recognition. Most kids see through this kind of nonsense in which everyone gets an award (which actually devalues the recognition), but the cumulative effect is still that we become a more narcissistic society.
Parents, don’t raise your kids this way. There are more important things than gaining your children’s approval — things like raising them to be responsible and generous adults. And teachers, please move away from this misguided approach to education and let kids know that, yes, sometimes they deserve to feel rotten about themselves.
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Right on! Your subject has been on my mind for years. Makes me wish I bought stock in trophy companies; every kid gets them these days. It’s hardly based on merit. And the really scary part is how this has trickled up to the workplace. It’s been my experience since leaving the advertising business that individual effort is not rewarded. There are no ” stars. ” To recognize someONE for doing a great job hurts the feelings of that worker’s colleagues. It’s a breeding ground for mediocrity. Much can, and has, been said of the back stabbing, superficial, mindless world of advertising. But one thing I can say is this: At least it’s a workplace where there’s still competition. There are winners and losers. You do a good job, you get rewarded and recognized. You don’t, you’d better start pulling some weight. It’s good to hear that you’re witnessing a lot of kids seeing through this ” everybody’s special ” BS. If everyone is, no one is. And that ain’t good.
Comment by terry mccarthy — February 27, 2007 #
While I agree with the concept behind this study, I am not sure that I think it’s the best scholarly research on the topic. After all, it does come out of southern California, which has to be the greatest hotbed of narcissism on the planet.
This quote is the one that gives me doubt as to whether the least narcissistic person alive would have come out looking good after evaluation by these San Diego analysts, though: “It took about three minutes to complete the survey,” she [a researcher] recalled. “But many students were so self-absorbed they didn’t want to participate.”
Comment by Janet Manko — February 27, 2007 #
I don’t know about the scholarship of the research (unfortunately there is no link in the LAT piece), but the reax will be classic. Those who agree with its conclusions (Janet excepted) will likely embrace the study, while those who disagree will attack its methodology.
As I stated in the post, however, the conclusions are consistent with what I have observed during my teaching career (1982-1996) and during my seven-year career covering what goes on in the schools.
There is far too much emphasis on feeling good about yourself whether you deserve to or not. For the last 20 years or more, when students perform poorly they and their parents have looked first to blame others, rather than examine their own efforts or the environment that is maintained at home. This phenomenon is an extension of the feel-good-at-all-costs mentality (in my humble opinion).
P.S. Also, self-esteem must be earned through genuine achievement and selflessness. It cannot be simply conferred on oneself or given by parents and teachers.
Comment by Terry — February 28, 2007 #
When I was in Sharon Center School thousands of years ago…we had ONE AWARD….The Sharon Center School Cup.
I wanted to win it my 8th grade year….
I did not win it……
My best friend did….
I was sad for myself, happy for him…
I survived!!!!
To hell with all the awards today, way to many..in sports, in acedemics, in work, in life.
Marshall
Comment by Marshall Miles — February 28, 2007 #