The Shouters
April 25th, 2008
Years ago my father, a lobbyist, would sit down on Sundays to watch “The McLaughlin Group,” which he referred to as “The Shouters.”
Pop, an advocate of the soft sell school persuasion, got a kick out of listening to the panelists, well, shout at each other.
He also told me of a commentator from the old Metromedia Channel 5 in New York, a Dr. Marty Abend, who represented the right wing on shows, usually paired against someone like Ted Sorensen.
When discussing the latest friction in the Mideast in, say, 1973, the lefty would say all the usual things - “We can’t interfere with the rights of blah blah blah.”
Abend’s rejoinder: “Nonsense! Seize them! These are not countries, they are sheikdoms! Seize them!”
“Seize them!” is a standard line in my family, along with other classics such as “What do you think this is? A club?” and “Used to be a bowling alley.” (I will explain these another time.)
For whatever reason, I have been watching the new breed of shouters quite a bit lately. And not really digging them, either. Here are my impressions of the current Shouters:
Alan Colmes is a ferret-faced weasel. (Or weasel-faced ferret, if you prefer.) His favorite rhetorical device is to ask, “Well, what about George W. Bush?”
His dorky pal Sean Hannity is dreadfully earnest. I don’t trust the earnest. They make me nervous. He reminds me of those Mormon kids doing their two years of missionary work, right down to the short-sleeve shirt and tie he would undoubtedly be wearing if someone from Fox’s wardrobe department hadn’t intervened.
Hannity is polite, though, which counts for something.
Bill O’Reilly is an appalling, smarmy character and a lousy interviewer to boot. He doesn’t try to change the subject a la Colmes, he just blathers straight through any dissonance.
And Greta Van Whoosiewhatsis? How does she talk without moving her mouth? (Mary Matalin does this too.)
Keith Olbermann wears those stupid little rectangle glasses, his suits are too big and too padded, and he thinks he’s funny. He is mistaken.
And Chris Matthews is a slobbering ninny. Is it too much to ask that he actually pronounce the words “Social Security” ?
(He says, and I can only approximate because there is no way to spell the sound of drooling, “Sohsh Secur.”)
Never mind their politics, their ratings gimmicks, the brainlessness of the whole cable news shtick.
These people are just not entertaining, except as neo-circus freaks.
I can’t imagine any of them having the wit and panache to simply say “Seize them!” and be done with it.
Jack Webb, Style Icon
April 23rd, 2008
I recently picked up a four-disc DVD set from the bargain bin at the Super Duper Stop & Shop in Canaan, Conn. - the same unlikely setting has provided me with the original King Kong (remastered) and Barbarella, Queen of the Galaxy.
This set, Best of TV Detectives, has a couple of Alfred Hitchcock Presents and some other moderately interesting stuff - a couple of Glen Howard Fu Manchus, half a dozen Dick Tracys.
And 13 episodes of Dragnet from 1953-54. Dragnet was really the original cop show, and it’s astonishing how contemporary they are. The crimes include murder, grand theft in the form of swindling families of recently deceased servicemen, and child molestation. Sounds like a typical night of Law & Order reruns to me.
But the biggest revelation to me was Jack Webb’s Joe Friday, Sartorial Stud.
Sgt. Friday invariably wears a shirt with a buttondown collar that has a serious roll to it. And with his slim cut sports jackets (often featuring a ticket pocket) and snap-brim fedora, he looks like (gasp) a jazz musician or something.
In one episode, he bends over to scoop up a dog that’s in the way, revealing what appear to be black loafers and argyle socks. Argyle socks!? From the “Just the facts, ma’am” guy?
And Friday is always showing just a bit of shirt cuff, in elegant and sharp contradistinction to his fat partner, whose jacket buttons always appear to be on the verge of flying off, with the swallows, to Capistrano.
Postscript: Here is a Time magazine cover story about Webb. The author’s son, who provided the link, informs me that Mr. Webb wasn’t too pleased with some aspects of the piece.
The Peril
April 23rd, 2008
Longwing, the Long-Suffering Trad, mentions rather casually in his blog today that he will be concentrating on buying a few ties. Nothing major, y’know.
And I say “Ha!”
I picked up these nifty Paul Stuart silk knits at the thrift today for a buck apiece. No big deal, right?
I’ve been just picking up nifty ties for a buck apiece for a few years now, and folks, it is no exaggeration to state that I could wear a different tie every day (starting today) and still have enough to make it to the ‘09 holiday season.
The ties in current rotation (wrong word, implies repeated use and constant turnover) reside draped over doors. It doesn’t hurt them any and keeps them in eyeshot.
Why don’t I keep them on the handy-dandy motorized tie racks a kind fellow in Illinois gave me?
Because the motorized tie racks are full, that’s why.
So I advise all men to be wary of the tie mania. The peril is real.
That’s not funny, that’s sick.
Suddenly Spring
April 22nd, 2008
The weather here in the Taconic Plateau fiddled and diddled and then threw in the towel on winter. It’s spring.
The rivers are in great shape. I am not, however; there seems to be an extra ten pounds around the middle and a moderately vigorous fishing trip yesterday left me wiped out.
The Fish Car is loaded and ready; I like to be able to stop whatever I’m doing at a moment’s notice and go straight to the venue.
And for shlepping around, the classic combo of lightweight LL Bean casual trousers, Quoddy mocs, a Hanes polo bought from the pile at Wal-Mart, a ribbon belt from Lands End (these things go on sale for about eight bucks per, which makes them very hard to resist - I didn’t), and the usual swap’ em routine with the watch and the ribbon bands.
The Great Loafer Hunt
April 14th, 2008
The Weejun, resoled and in action
Some years ago now, while looking for information on suits, I stumbled on the Ask Andy About Clothes forum and an obsession was born.
There are sub-obsessions, and for the last two years mine has been finding the right penny loafer. I was loafer-resistant: the concept seemed pretty sissified to me, and I still won’t even consider a tassel. Very gradually I warmed to the idea of a loafer at all via the boat shoe. From the battered Topsider it’s a fairly short stretch to the Weejun, the famous penny loafer made by Bass.
I tried a pair from the outlet store in Lee, Mass. My first mistake was buying them too big. I was under the impression loafers should be the same size as one’s other shoes. Maybe for other guys, but not me. I need one that is shorter, otherwise it just flops around.
The second mistake was buying the Weejuns from the outlet at all. The typical Bass loafer available at outlets is made of a shiny (and, I learned, cheap) leather called corrected grain. It looks like plastic and feels like it, too. I eventually thrifted a pair of older USA-made Weejuns with the soles falling off, and had them resoled by an outfit called NuShoe. (Oddly, the uppers and interior were fine.)
Back to the forum. I read up on loafers, and the odyssey began.
I discovered that Lands End shoes run big, like their sport jackets. I discovered that the penny loafer as practiced by whoever makes the calfskin ones for Brooks is too pointy. I found that Sebago’s corrected grain isn’t nearly as obnoxious as that used by Bass, and that by combining black loafers with baggy chinos and a plaid short-sleeve sport shirt with a button-down collar one can recreate the look sported by the young Richard Dreyfuss in American Graffiti. (Not that it comes up often, or ever, but nice to know the option’s there.)
And I found it gets tricky when one has a skinny ankle and a wide-ish everything else. I can get the heel right and have too much up front, or it can fit like a glove in the toe box and I’m falling out of them in the back.
But I persevered, and experimented, and spent too much money, and now I have a bunch of penny loafers that are satisfactory or better, to varying degrees.
Sebago Cayman flat-strap penny loafer
The best of them are…
Fit:
With socks - Allen Edmonds Hanover, Sebago Cayman in brown
Sans socks - Quoddy Trail Company Pennies with camp sole, Allen Edmonds Lawrence with lug sole
Style :
Cool - AE Hanovers, black Sebago Classic, Sebago Cayman
Pleasantly stodgy - Bass Weejuns (thrifted pair, resoled, much better leather), Sebago Classic in brown
Strictly utilitarian - Bass Logans, the oiled leather Sebagos, the Quoddys.
Different league - AE Randolphs in shell cordo (I think).
Story behind these - got them on eBay, and noticed the leather just seemed more substantial than anything else I owned. Then I took a spill and managed to scratch the hell out of them. Ruined, I thought. Shoe cream, polish, leather conditioners - nothing helped.
Then I read up on shell cordovan and learned that the oils in this type of leather stay put forever. Should some calamity occur, the best bet is to give the shoes a brisk brushing and leave them alone to allow Nature to take its course.
Which I did, and now the scratches are barely noticeable. (Which is why I think these are shell.)
