The Most Annoying Song in the World
March 14th, 2007
(After hearing Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” 17 times in one day Hiram J. Whifflebat, above, went on a six-day, eight-state rampage. The terror only ended when, while trying to stab his ex-wife with a barbeque fork, Whifflebat missed and got the plugged-in toaster instead.)
You know the phenomenon - a song you absolutely detest comes on the radio and gets irrevocably stuck in your head.
This happened to me last night in the Stop and Shop in Canaan. I was grabbing a bottle of Zazz seltzer (”Zazz! The Incredibly Ordinary Seltzer With the Incredibly Goofy Name!”) when over the loudspeaker came Billy Joel singing “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”
Have you ever heard this little ditty? It goes like like this:
We didn’t start the fi-yuh! / And a something something and a something something / We didn’t start the fi-yuh! / And a something something and a something something/ We didn’t start…
Jack Kevorkian could have saved himself a lot of trouble by simply handing out copies of this song.
This hideous experience got me thinking about the tunes that haunt me. Here are some of the all-time irritating songs that once stuck in the head require an event of atomic proportions to dislodge:
“We Built This City” by Jefferson Starship.
“Cleaning Out My Closet” by Eminem.
“Midnight At the Oasis” by Maria Muldaur. (Send your camel to bed, indeed.)
“Whoomp - There It Is” by Tag Team.
“We Will Rock You” by Queen.
Anything, in fact, by Queen.
The Maytag Store jingle
That’s just what comes immediately to mind.
What are your Songs of Doom? And why?
March 14th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
How about “My Baby Works From 9 to 5?” A cloyingly unlistenable song written by a treacly troglodyte.
Witchy Woman by ?
Benny & The Jets - Buh, buh, buh Benny. I’d almost rather listen to Elton sing that dreadful tribute he did for Di again.
And anything by Cornelius Brothers & Sister Rose.
March 15th, 2007 at 9:17 am
How about Robin Thicke, son of Growing Pains star Alan Thicke, pretending he has talent.
Or N’Sync reject, Justin “I’m Going To Bring Sexy Back” Timberlake
March 15th, 2007 at 10:45 am
Asia (not to be confused with Steely Dan’s “Aja” of ground-breaking excellence) is usually a given for lists of this kind. They were, in a word, HORRIBLE. Skin-peelingly bad, in fact. Anthemic cheddar from a period that should be wiped from the annals of musicdom. Truly, a bunch of wealthy producers with nothing better to do — probably a band conceived on a dare of a drunken bet gone awry. And let’s throw in another bunch of “famous” idiots working together to kill pop music … The Travelling Willburys (sp?). The Unravelling Dingle-Berries, more like. Nyaaaahhhh.
March 16th, 2007 at 5:42 am
It wasn’t the song, his weave was too tight!
March 17th, 2007 at 7:33 am
[...] My colleague Patrick Sullivan was at the Canaan Super Stop & Shop recently and had the misfortune of hearing Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” Patrick has put together a list of the all-time most annoying songs and solicited contributions from his readers, including yours truly. Check it out. [...]
March 17th, 2007 at 9:11 am
Hi Patrick. I have four painful words for you:
“Rock and Roll Heaven.” Do I win?
March 17th, 2007 at 11:40 am
the most annoying song of all time…. is a toss up between the theme from TITANIC (My Heart will go on) and “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)†by ?the proclaimers? DA DA DA DA… now it’s in my head.
March 18th, 2007 at 6:24 am
I got to you via Terry Cowgill’s post On Colin’s blog.
I’ve been keeping a file of the “bad gym music” that Ive been forced to endure while slogging away on the eliptical trainer. The latest was “Hell–Hell is for Children”, by, I think, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts.
March 18th, 2007 at 6:25 am
I must be getting old.
I finally realized this when, radio-surfing the other day, I lighted on a “progressive” station that played one angry, screaming, head-banging “song” after another. I’ve re-named this stuff “kitten-hammering songs”–music that, when you get a few bars under your belt, you want to take a ball-peen to a basket of fuzzy, new-born felines.
But…for the absolute quickest ticket to the vomitorium :
“Ricky, don’t Lose That Number” & “Me and You and A Dog Named Boo’.”
March 18th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
“Hell Is For Children” was a hit for Pat Benatar, who, incidentally, looks like a piranha.
For fun try singing “Cleaning Out My Closet” a la Elmer Fudd. This is the only known method of getting that particular song out of the internal rotation.
“Kitten-hammering music” is a fine and accurate description. For particularly egregious examples check out a band called, unhappily, “Bush.”
March 18th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
The topm 10 from a life long radio announcer….
1) (the worst) Seasons In The Sun by Terry Jacks
Honey by Bobby Goldsbourough
2) You Light up My Life by Debbie Boone
3) Purple Roses by Donnie and Marie Osmond
4) Any song by the Carpenters
5) Hot Butter by Popcorn
6) Blind Man in The Bleachers ( so bad I purged from my brain the singer!!!)
7) Your Having My Baby by Paul Anka
9) Hail To The Redskins (fight song)
10) A Hunk of Burnin Love by Elvis
Now, I must go and puke
March 18th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
Mind if I pass?
March 19th, 2007 at 7:37 am
These are all very annoying choices. For me, though, there’s one by Alanis Morrissette. When I was in Haiti, there was a guy in the same platoon who had 1. just discovered the “repeat” function on the CD player and 2. wanted very badly to be hip and edgy and cool. For six months I heard at least a dozen times per day:
“It’s not fair
to remind me
of the blah blah blah
that you blah blah me”
Since I am not hip, not edgy, and probably not cool, this one naturally lodged in my brain.
A close second is:
“It’s like rai-eeee-aaaiiin on your wedding day.
It’s a free ride when you’re blah blah blah blah.”
Please excuse me while I go pour bleach into my ears to try to wash out these horrible tunes.
March 19th, 2007 at 8:42 am
Anything by Sheena Easton, not just because her music is so bad but because her songs are very hard to purge once heard. They’re like bubblegum on the bottom of your shoe: Once they’re on your brain, they’re impossible to pry off.
April 2nd, 2007 at 8:07 am
My top ten:
1. Tom Sawyer or anything else by Rush.
2. Wild, Wild West-Will Smith
3. Love of a Lifetime-Firehouse
4. Rollin’-Limp Bizkit
5. Party All the Time-Eddie Murphy
6. Your Body Is a Wonderland-John Mayer
7. Sunglasses At Night-Corey Hart
8. Follow Me-Uncle Kracker
9. Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm-Crash Test Dummies
10. Working For the Weekend-Loverboy
“A modern day warrior
Mean, mean stride
Today’s Tom Sawyer
Mean, mean pride”
This song is just awful.
October 7th, 2007 at 7:22 pm
I have to say, that I could not agree with you in 100% regarding The Most Annoying Song in the World, but it’s just my opinion, which could be wrong
October 15th, 2007 at 5:37 am
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October 25th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
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October 30th, 2007 at 10:04 am
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November 14th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Hey!…Man i love reading your blog, interesting posts ! it was a great Wednesday
November 23rd, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Every time I hear very bad music I remember this blog.
What about “Everybody Wang Chung Tonight?”
December 6th, 2007 at 10:47 pm
Hi Guru, what made you want to write on The Most Annoying Song in the World? I was wondering, because I have been thinking about this since last Thursday.